Sunday, May 8, 2011

Denial.

I feel like I've been going through the grieving process over the last few weeks. I've learned about this concept for years starting with my health class my sophomore year with Coach Carter (yeah, like the movie). With his dangling cross earring, intimidating tattoos and in-your face confrontations he taught the following:
Depression
Anger
Bargaining
Denial
Acceptance
Or DABDA for short.

Why am I an emotional disaster (exaggeration x10) you ask? 
London Study Abroad is over.

My journal has sat untouched after writing in it every night and this poor blog has been neglected all in fear of facing facts. But here are the facts:
My sunburn is gone.
The peeling has stopped.
My bruises and scabs are gone.
My constant exhaustion is gone.
I don't have any roommates.
I eat regular meals.
I don't have to hike 24073023847 steps to go to my room.
etc. etc.

So here I am. Facing facts and trying to get past the denial stage.

Study abroad was something that I needed a little persuading to do because of my lack of spontaneity and basic fear of new things. Thankfully, I pulled myself together and set off for London. Early on, I think we could all agree that it was all a bit odd and a little awkward.
39 college students (33 girls, 6 boys), 2 professors and their families, one couple in charge of the Centre, one crazy cleaning lady and an alleged cat lurking outside our bedroom. We all moved in on about the same day, barely knew anyone and we started to spend every waking hour together. So naturally, we all got pretty dang close. As you can imagine.


Now, after all that time together and after all those memories, we're all split up again. Not to mention we aren't in London anymore.

So in an attempt to move on to the "acceptance" phase of the grieving process, I'm facing the facts.
I'm not nearly as articulate as my dear Maddy but going to London has changed me.
Over the course of the semester my "spontaneity" has increased tenfold and I think I've really realized how important those spontaneous things can be! Those are the experiences that you will always remember and so you need to take advantage of those things as they come. Run away to Portugal for the weekend? Sure. Go to the Celine Dion concert instead of just dreaming about it? Definitely. Read that book you added to your list of things to read? Get on it.
Life truly is about the right now rather than just putting things on the "to-do list" to be done eventually. It's about the living and what better way to do that then to spend all the time you can with the people that make you laugh, who will listen to your life stories (no matter how uninterested they are), who will be honest with you about a hideous dress you just tried on, and most importantly who will love you despite how odd you are.

So here's to London.
You'll always be a huge piece of me.
And to my London family.
I love you too much to say.

You know how the time flies, only yesterday was the time of our lives

Subsequent posts will be dedicated to the most loved and remembered aspects of London (using pictures of course)

2 comments:

  1. hahah I love that picture, even if I was the dog of the family.

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  2. I can't wait until you're back in Provo so trips to Sammy's and West Wing Wednesdays (...or was it Criminal Minds? CSI?) can live on. You're fabulous Sara, I am so glad we're friends, truly.

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