I'm now about a month into my 23rd year and I've decided a few things:
- While I feel quite ancient here in Provo at times. I'm 23 dang it, that is not old at all. This party is just getting started!
- I stress far too much about my life. It's a different stress than school stress though. I don't feel busy and in a time crunch with endless to-do lists anymore. I feel a more "Am I moving in the right direction?" "What should I do next?" "Don't choose the wrong thing!'. This all causes me to hesitate a lot when making any sort of long term decision. Baby steps is the new goal. No need to feel overwhelmed (even though life generally is just overwhelming no matter what you do).
- Things. Work. Out. Let's be honest, I don't know how fully converted I am to this idea but hey, it sure makes you feel better. So I'm believing it for now. I mean I'm not lying in a ditch somewhere or anything- small victories.
- A few years ago the 304 girls adopted the Grey's Anatomy quote, "people are what matter" (oh that show just speaks to my soul sometimes). I have plenty of friends, as scattered as we all may be, I have some wonderful people in my life and I am just so much happier when I make the effort to spend time dedicated to them.
- I have this
problem, habit, endearing quality. It has to do with food. I am always up for a meal out (specifically chicken tacos these days but that's a story for another day), a late night treat or a diet coke run. There are few things I find bond you more than sharing thoughts on life over a diet coke. I've embraced it fully and I live for spur of the moment treat run. A diet coke a day keeps the doctor away... or something like that. My grandma and aunt offer them to immediately when I arrive at their house, my co-workers let me know when they've stocked the fridge, and friends order for me when we're out. It's a healthy "endearing quality", right?
- New Goal: spontaneity. For those who know me well, I like plans and knowing what to expect. I feel inexplicably unsettled and uncomfortable when a plan changes small as it may be. We said we were going to get mexican for dinner and now you want a burger!? STICK TO THE PLAN! Okay, that's dramatic but really... that's how my brain works. But you know what, deciding to get tacos and driving by a place that offers you a buy one get one free milkshake? Now that's my kind of spontaneity! I digress, I vow to be more adaptable and if possible, spontaneous. I think I hear a road trip calling my name.
- I'm awesome. That's right, I said it. No it's not cocky and arrogant of me to say, I am just well aware of how great I can be and there's no reason to doubt that in any area of my life. Now, I'm no all-star and I don't feel so fabulous all the time but I like myself most of the time.
- Last year I adopted the motto: Life is hard, but I can do hard things. Still holds true, friends. Life is not all rainbows and smiles, sure it can be but that just isn't realistic to be that way all the time. It's powerful to embrace the hard, maybe even wallow for a bit, and then realize that you can handle it, people have handled worse and you can handle whatever it is.
Just some food for thought, I'm sure I could be more insightful and articulate but it's past midnight and those aging 23 year olds out there have to work early in the morning, so late at night the thoughts get jumbled and I think I'm pretty quirky and funny. Well, who am I kidding, I think I'm pretty quirky and funny all the time. So here's to 23, I expect big things.